Turning Imposter Syndrome Into Humility and Confidence

We fake it until we make it, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Jordan Foote’s Opportunity Cost miniseries. For the most recent installment, click here.

I know pretty much all of us are anxious to leave 2020 in the past, but let’s revisit some of the lessons we’ve learned this year. I’ll start with my №1:

You can be humble and confident at the same time.

Throughout my entire life, I’ve struggled with confidence. I compared myself to others and found that I wasn’t good enough. I brushed off every compliment I’d ever received. I never realized the magnitude of the things I was accomplishing at a young age. This continued until 2020, and I still battle it on certain days, but I think I finally have it under control. Defeating imposter syndrome is easier said than done, but you can manage it while still knowing there’s more work to do.

Imposter syndrome is best defined as “anxiety or self-doubt that results from persistently undervaluing one’s competence and active role in achieving success, while falsely attributing one’s accomplishments to luck or other external forces.” This comes in the form of feeling as if you aren’t worthy of success and/or haven’t worked hard enough for it. You downplay accomplishments and chalk them up to good luck or simple coincidence(s). You’re you, but you haven’t earned the right to be you.

Newsflash: you have earned the right to be yourself. And while some people’s success does stem from simply knowing people or getting lucky, yours doesn’t. You’ve worked for what you have and deserve every bit of it. You are worthy. It will take some time to train your mind into thinking that way, but it’s entirely possible to do so.

The best thing I taught myself this year was how to silence my own biggest critic: me. Sure, I still have moments, hours or even days in a row where I feel self-doubt creeping in. When that happens, I use my top five list. In no particular order, here’s what I’ve found has helped me believe in myself when I’ve needed it the most.

1. Keep a genuine circle around you. You know, the people who check on you. The people who give support without being asked to do so. The people who may be more confident in your abilities than even you are. Those kinds of people. Keep them in your circle and at a certain point, you’ll know when to remove others who’ve overstayed their welcome.
2. Hype yourself up. It does work. I used to think that positive affirmations — or even positive thoughts in general — were some superficial thing people did to stroke their egos. Boy, was I completely wrong. Tell yourself that you’re great. Say that you’re on the right track and believe that good things are coming your way. Even if you think it’s delusional, it works. The more you speak it, the more likely it is to come true. Manifest confidence.
3. Reflect. Reflect often. There’s a quote in a recent interview I watched that stuck out to me. “I need to remind myself of those times when what I currently have is what I used to want.” Don’t be afraid to reflect on your journey to where you’re at now. Accept the negatives as blessings along the way and briefly reminisce on the positives as a form of reinforcement. Use reflection as a subliminal message that you’re destined for more great things in the future.
4. Compete only with the person you see in the mirror. We’re all guilty of comparing ourselves to others. No two paths are the same, though. We all face different challenges and overcome different obstacles along the way. Your life is what you make it. Do not allow others’ success to make you feel as if you have to fast-track your own. There’s a reason why sprinters don’t look at anyone else during races. They stay in their own lane, remember the hard work they’ve done to get to that point, and live with the results. One-up yourself every time, not some other person.
5. Accept that perfection isn’t attainable. Strive for greatness instead. Just try to be 1 percent better each and every day. Those small victories will add up and if you have a bad day, it’s not the end of the world. Not a single person on this planet is perfect. There are many great people out there, though, and they all have developed habits and mindsets that make them great. Find what works for you. You’re given 24 hours in a day to get better at something. What you do with those hours is up to you.

Also, a quick note: Progress is not always linear. You’ll have bad days where you feel like shit and don’t like yourself one bit. That’s okay, as long as you acknowledge that it’s a bad day and you make yourself get back on track. If you have trouble doing so, that’s what the five tips are for. Hopefully they help you unlock the potential you’ve always had. I’m working on that part right now… let’s kick 2021’s ass.

“The cost of opportunities is always good to know. But if you know that, then you’re good to go.” -G